OWN CROSS AND CHRIST CROSS

Lord said to his disciples: "If anyone desires to come af-ter Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me" (Matt.16,26) What means "own cross"? Why this "own cross", that means individual for every person is also called "Christ cross". "Own" cross: sorrows and sufferings of this earthly life, that are individual for every person! "Own" cross: fast, vigilance, another pious deeds, that help to humble the body and to subdue it to the spirit. These deeds have to correspond to the strength of every person. Every person has individual deeds. "Own" cross: sinful ailments, that are individual for every person! With some of them we were born and other we get on the way of our earthly life.

"Christ cross" - doctrine of Christ.

The own cross is vain and barren, it is not important, how hard it is, if through the discipleship to Christ, it will not transform in "Christ cross". "Own" cross becomes for Christ disciple "Christ cross", because the Christ disciple is sure, that Christ is always awake over him, that Christ sends him sufferings as inevitable condition of the Christendom. That no sufferings will come to him, if Christ will not let it that thanks sufferings Christian belongs to Christ. Christian gets a part in the fate of Christ on the earth and then in heaven.

"Own cross" becomes to Christ disciple "Christ cross": be-cause true Christ disciple consider the fulfillment of Christ commandments the sole goal of the life. This most holy com-mandments become a cross for him, on that he always crucify his old man "with his passions and desires" (Gal.5,24). There-fore, it is plain, why in order to accept the cross, it's im-portant first to reject yourself even till destruction of your own soul. The sin is so used to our fallen nature, that God's word calls it the soul of fallen human being.

In order to take a cross, it is important first to refuse own body its sinful desires, and give it just essential for existence. It is essential to declare own truth as the most evil lie for God, the own judiciousness as the biggest injudi-cious and after that, to devote oneself to God with great strength of faith, to devote oneself permanent studying of Gospel, to disown oneself own will. The person, who made such an abdication of himself, is able to accept his own cross. With submission to God, he waits without fear or confusion coming sorrow. He is ready to endure it generous and coura-geous. He hopes, that thanks a sorrow he becomes communicant of Christ sufferings. He reaches the profession of Christ not just through the sense and heart, but also through the deeds and life. As long as your cross continue to stay your own cross, it is hard. But when it transforms to Christ cross, it gets uncommon lightness. "My yoke is easy and My burden is light," - said the Lord (Matt.11,30).

The Christ disciple accepts the cross, when he declare himself worthy the sufferings, that Gods providence sends him. The Christ disciple bear his own cross right, if he admit that exactly the sufferings that were sent to him, are essential for his redemption and growth in Christ. Patient cross bearing is true sight and realization of the own sin. There is no de-lusion in this realization. But the person, who accepts that he is a sinner, but at the same time grumbles and cries from the cross, proves that with superficial realization of the sin he just flatters and cheats himself. Patient cross bearing is just true penitence. Crucified person go to cross! Confess God the righteousness of His fates. Find guilty yourself and ex-cuse Gods judgment and you will get remission of your sins. Crucified person, go to cross! Perceive Christ and the gate of Paradise will be open to you. From the cross praise the Lord and reject all complains and grumble, reject it as a crime and blasphemy. From the cross thank God for valuable gift, for your cross, - for the precious fate, for the fate to copy Christ with your sufferings. Theologize from the cross: be-cause the cross is true and sole school; storehouse and throne of true Theology. Outside the cross we don't have any living perception of Christ.

Don't look for Christian perfection in human virtues. It is not there: it is latent in Christ cross. Your cross will be transformed in Christ cross, if Christ disciple bears it with active realization of own sinfulness, that request execution, if he bears it with gratitude and praise Christ. From praise and gratitude the suffered person gets spirit comfort; praise and gratitude become a great source of inconceivable imperish-able joy, that fulfill the heart, the soul and the body it-self. Christ cross is just external, for bodies sight hard. For Christ disciple and follower the cross is the field of highest spiritual delight. This delight is so big, that it deadens the suffering and Christ follower among the greatest sufferings feels just delight.

Young Mavra told her young husband Timofej, who suffered terrible torments and asked her to take part in the martyrdom: "I am afraid, my brother, that I will get fear, when I will see terrible torments and angry commander, that I will lose patience, because I am young". The martyr answers her: "Trust in our Lord Jesus Christ and torments will become oil for you, that is flowed to you body and the spirit of dew in your bones that relieve all your diseases".

Cross is force and glory of all holy people.

Cross heals sins, destroys demons.

Cross is deadly for people, who didn't transform own cross in Christ cross, who complain about Gods Providence from their own cross, abuse it, get hopeless and despair. The sinners who didn't admit their sins and didn't confess it, died on their crosses from the eternal death, because they didn't endure true life, the life in God. They will be removed from the cross just to go with their souls in eternal grave: the pris-ons of hell.

Christ cross raise from the earth the Christ disciple that is crucify on it. The Christ disciple that is crucify on his cross, thinks about the heaven and lives there with his senses and with his heart and see spirit sacraments in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

"If anyone desires to come after Me,- said the Lord,- let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me" (Matt 16, 24). Amen.

Bishop Ignatij BRANCHININOV